Building bridges instead of walls: How we can create a more empathetic society

While the vast majority of political events at the UW in the past two years have resulted in peaceful and civil discourse, those that grabbed the headlines most quickly portrayed the UW as a violent and divided place. From the 2017 inauguration day shooting to heated confrontations in Red Square just before the 2018 midterm elections, the university, along with the rest of the country, seems to have grown into a more hateful place.

With such heightened political polarization and many people seemingly unable to understand “the other side,” some believe improving empathy could help heal a divided country.

UW political science professor Mark A. Smith said that viewing anyone with beliefs which differ from your own as delusional or a bad person is not conducive to good dialogue and problem-solving. “But if you have empathy, that means you try to understand the other person, so you say, ‘Well maybe there’s a reason they believe what they believe,’” Smith said.

Research shows that while empathy is hard-wired in humans, with at least 10 percent determined by genetics, there is potential for people to learn and improve their empathetic response.

Most of this learning is accomplished in early years, when a child’s brain is malleable and absorbs information and social cues like a sponge. The environment in which a child grows up has profound effects on how developed their empathetic response is. Some parents purposefully model empathetic behaviors such as helping others and validating emotions in an effort to instill empathy in their children.

While it is proven that children’s empathy can be nurtured and improved, little research has been done into how adults can increase their empathy, and it seems that it is even harder to build empathy between those of differing cultures, opinions, and political affiliations.

The UW Center for the Science of Social Connection (CSSC) does research on how people build closeness with one another. Some of their applied research includes studies on how building close relationships (which includes developing empathy) changes how people interact with those who are different from themselves. The results of this research suggest that it absolutely is possible for adults to develop empathy.

An example of this research is a small preliminary study conducted in 2017 which put college students of differing political beliefs through a workshop where they were encouraged to be vulnerable and disclose information about themselves that they felt was important to their identity. This sharing of vulnerable information was intended to help people recognize others as individuals with their own personal truths rooted in experience, thus increasing understanding and closeness. After sharing personal stories, people felt closer to others and seemed to be more understanding of differing political views.

Adam Kuczynski, a Ph.D. student at the CSSC, described how everyone has reasons for the things they believe and the ways in which they act, though others may believe and act in completely different ways. “There’s a kernel of truth in what everyone says, no matter how small it may be,” Kuczynski said.

Being open to finding others’ kernels of truth is key to improving empathy.

In order to try to repair deep political divisions, people must first understand and respect the positions of those on the other side of the debate and recognize the emotional background that often informs people’s opinions.

If research suggests adults can in fact  build their empathy, how can we do so?

In 2011, author and journalist Ta-Nehisi Coates wrote that in order to help us understand one another, we don’t need a “soft, hand-holding empathy” but a “muscular empathy rooted in curiosity.” He defines empathy not just as being kind, but as thinking deeply about the full extent of another person’s circumstances, and instead of asking why they act the way they do, asking yourself why you would act any differently.

If empathy requires such deep thought, spreading a culture of empathy may seem like a daunting task, as humans are not particularly conditioned to think so deeply about things. However, all hope need not be lost.

Maya Nader, a certified Compassion Cultivation Trainer who has taught Compassion Cultivation Training classes at the UW, recommended that we “not lose sight of the humanness of the other.”

In an email, Nader described a study done by Princeton University psychology professor Susan Fiske which showed that after thinking of people different to themselves having normal human emotions (such as contemplating what kind of vegetables that person might like), people showed increased signs of empathy.

“This softening of perceptions, from not acknowledging the person at all, to [thinking] ‘they are us, under different circumstances’ is good news,” Nader said, referencing the results of the study. In other words, though it may take some conscious effort, easy self-reminders that other people make the same mundane decisions, and experience the same joy and pain as us can help us build our empathy and contribute to a kinder society.

While it may be difficult, if many individuals take the initiative to improve their own empathy, it is possible America could create a culture of kindness and understanding, moving us toward more peaceful everyday and political discussions which aim to build bridges rather than walls.

Reach writer Emily Young at wellness@dailyuw.com. Twitter: @emilymyoung7

Like what you’re reading? Support high-quality student journalism by donating here.