How to Topple that Wall & Score Victory Every Time

You have an opportunity – every moment, every day – to bring your best self forward, even when you hit a wall. Which you will. (Secret below.)

There's a rainbow stretching from end to end as I look out from my perch where I'm writing this. It's been brilliant in our sky for almost 30 minutes already. The rainbow serves as an apt symbol for what I'm about to tell you.

Image credit: Stencil

A rainbow is forged in the midst of inclement conditions. You never see an actual rainbow on a cloudless day, nor at night. You need that particular combination of light and dark, beauty and pain. The rubbing of opposites — sun and rain — producing this miraculous grand delight.

Keeping this imagery in mind, I want to let you in on a secret.

You, too, can produce rainbows in your life. Every day.

You can ignite something as miraculous as a rainbow — forged through a sense of purpose, commitment, determination and grit, and a pinch of grace. You just need to know where to look. And you need to change your perspective — even overhaul your mind — so every day you can experience the miracles opening up to you.

Let me explain.

Scaling — even toppling — the wall

There is a wall you and I face every single day. Steven Pressfield coins it 'Resistance' in his simple but profound book, The War of Art. In a nutshell, Resistance is what we encounter every single day, in ways large and small, when we set out to do something awesome, whatever that may be.

Get up early for that workout? Resistance wants to push you back down, under the covers. Maybe tomorrow, you reason.

Make that phone call to begin healing a relationship? Naw, it can wait.

Image credit: Pixabay

In The War of Art, Pressfield personifies Resistance and talks of it mostly in the context of creative endeavors. When you sit down and start to write, is that blank page or screen staring you in the face mocking you, telling you you're not good enough? You don't have anything worthwhile to say, so why waste the time?

When you stand in front of that canvas, can't you hear Resistance sneer at you, deriding any ounce of ambition you have?

Of course, this may not happen every time. Resistance is cunning. It wouldn't make itself so easy to predict. Resistance changes up its tactics, adjusting itself to where you are in any given endeavor, whether you're about to start, traversing through the "mucky middle," or nearing the end. Indeed, Resistance lurks everywhere, eager to distract, derail, deter and even destroy.

Image credit: Stencil

And, although Pressfield's focus is the war we face (mostly internal, sometimes external) when we set out to create something new, this Resistance is a mighty force elsewhere — in relationships, in health, in learning, in applying for jobs, in trying new things, in traveling, in serving, in loving, in innovating, in completing …. So many places!

Well, Pressfield has written the book, so I won't go further here. Go check it out yourself if you haven't before. It's a swift but meaty read – and a worthwhile reread.

The best-kept secret to countering Resistance

Resistance is fierce and mighty! Because of its grip on and threat to each one of us, Resistance has stopped many a good idea, many a worthwhile endeavor, before it could ever come to life.

Sometimes, Resistance slays in mid-stream. And, at times, Resistance meets you right on top of the peak you've just scaled, ready to push that boulder down on top of you.

But here's the secret: Resistance only works when you've given yourself a Plan B.

Oh, how I wish I had learned this much earlier in life!

But I've been learning it now, especially over the last several months. I've been participating in online challenges. These are through a social-habit building app called SPAR. You can read more about this right here (midway through the article).

How SPAR works

SPAR is all about loss aversion. For those of us who have at least one competitive bone in our bodies, I have to say — it works! I know I don't want to miss doing what I've committed to do even once because then, in the end, I don't get to split the winner's pot with the other "survivors."

For me, it's not really about making money. For real. Rather, it's about forming positive habits, having some fun, and making a bit of pocket money in the process.

Personally, I'm planning to cash out my pot towards the end of this year. I will use the money for both Christmas gifts and some year-end extra giving. I can't wait!

And, from now to then, I'll be exercising, writing, reading and even cleaning my way to a better life. A better me! It is so motivating!

The wall I faced this morning

I had taken some nighttime cold medicine before going to bed. I knew the wall would be especially fierce when the alarm rang at 4:40. But it was even worse, as torrential rain poured down outside. I lay in my bed enveloped in darkness, with still a bit of that stuffy feeling. My husband planned to stay in bed another 45 minutes. I almost talked myself out of going to my 5:45 am Barre class at the gym.

But I didn't. For three reasons:

1 | I've drawn the line.

I've told myself, unless I'm sick (really sick), terribly injured, recovering from surgery, out of town or there's an emergency, I'm going to work out early in the morning three days/week with an instructor I'm coming to love. No exceptions.

2 | I read a book.

Last year my husband and I read the book Younger Next Year (regular and unleaded — no, just kidding — female version here!). I don't agree with everything in this book. But the book itself is compelling.

Take note: If you, dear reader, are 40 and above, you really should grab this book and read it. I'm committed to at least four — more like five to six — days of vigorous exercise and/or strength training each week. Bar(re) none.

3 | I've got someone expecting me.

I'm loving my 5:45 am spin (cycling) and barre class instructor! She is a kick, and she makes showing up totally worth it. And I feel the workouts a ton afterwards. I can feel my body getting healthier and stronger every day.

Image credit: Stencil

One additional benefit no doubt is I feel great every day, consistently better than I've felt for years! This has a spillover effect in everything I'm doing. And, by extension, this makes me a better person for others — and for our world. (Yes, I always think in those terms!)

All this, I'll confess, from a person who is not a natural morning person at all! To be sure. I've had to learn it. Just go ask my husband, Dale DePalatis!

The SPAR challenges have triggered something new in me, and they can do this for you, too! So can this Younger Next Year book.

When you don't give yourself a Plan B for whatever awesome thing you're trying to do (with the important exceptions I've listed above), you just do it. Nike got that long ago. Why didn't I?

How about you now?

Copyright 2019 © by Caroline DePalatis, YourGlobalFamily. All rights reserved.